back from the den

The full moon has found me, and while I feel slightly closer to a sense of balance, I know I still have  a lot of work to do.  At the same time, this experience has been overwhelmingly helpful, and I have reminded myself of the multiple ways we fight against ourselves and our own happiness.

For example… I was actually worried, feeling guilty, making excuses for myself as to why I could not/should not take a break from the world for a few days.  If I were in less difficult circumstances, perhaps I would have put away the idea of disappearing, telling myself that my responsibilities were so important I could not dream of laying them down.  As it was, it was part choice, but mostly necessity.  What have I learned there?

“If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.” Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

And a case in point – my 207 emails that came in over the course of 10 days.

Work-related emails – 9
Emails from friends – 3
Tweets and Facebook messages for/mentioning me – 7
Listserve emails I don’t read anyway – 22
Blogs I subscribe to – 58 (34 of which were from Foundmonton)
Other random Facebook notifications – 65
Couchsurfing – 1
Good Information – 4
Junk – 38

Needless to say I spent a bit of time unsubscribing myself and changing my notification settings when I got back.  It has done wonders for my inflated sense of purpose.

When I checked-out, I posted on my blog, in case anyone was looking for me (mom??? are you out there???), but as far as I can tell, only two people who know me actually knew I was gone.  And, in a strange irony, the post garnered me a couple new followers of my blog.  Welcome folks!  But really, digital life, and life in general, just flowed by.  My absence was no more missed than a pebble in a riverbed.  Humbled.  Check.

And the process of just being with myself.  Writing, reading, meditating, thinking, forgetting has been worth the condensed deletion of my junk mail… wait….. was there a price to this?


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